I once thought that more opportunities equaled more progress.
Whenever there was an exciting new venture, I wanted to know about it. Whenever there was a promising new idea for business, I wanted to pursue it. Whenever there was any kind of possibility, I feared that by turning it down, I was turning my back on a golden opportunity.
But now I know that opportunities can turn into distractions when you don’t know where you’re trying to go.
A position may be excellent, but not the right position for you. An investment may promise high returns but distract you from the more valuable venture. An invitation may lead to other opportunities but waste your time.
So, should you pursue all opportunities?
No.
What matters is asking yourself whether this opportunity fits in your current goals.
This question makes all the difference in making choices for your career, your business and your life. Rather than measuring an opportunity by its appeal, you measure it by how it will impact your future.
Sometimes, saying no to an excellent opportunity is the way to say yes to the right one.
Why We Keep Saying Yes
Sometimes, you say yes because of fear of missing out. Something comes up, whether it be a job, business venture or collaboration and suddenly you think, “But what if this is the one I regret saying no to?”
Sometimes, it is pressure. You do not want to make anyone who referred you disappointed. You do not also want other people to see that you are not ambitious enough.
Then there is progress. Saying yes feels like getting things done. You meet people, work on projects, earn money and experiment. However, just because you are busy does not mean that you are doing something constructive.
How then can you tell when you are pursuing opportunities instead of making progress?
Consider your focus.
If every new opportunity shifts what you are concentrating on, it could be that the problem is not with opportunities but focus.
You cannot walk all the roads at once. Somewhere along the line, you have to settle on which road to take leaving some roads untouched.
It does not mean that you are going to stop exploring new ideas or close yourself to any chance. It simply means that you are going to stop treating each opportunity as an instruction to act.
How to Know If an Opportunity Is Right for You
When an opportunity arises before you, ask yourself two questions:
“Is this good?”
“Is this good for me?”
Does it move you in the direction you want?
Identify the direction first.
Where do you wish to go in life? What career or personal goal will you achieve through this opportunity, or is it pulling you to some other direction?
For instance, assume you have a dream of building a career in technology; however, you are working on projects which are not related to technology since they offer you quick money. There is nothing wrong with these jobs.
However, if they are sucking away your time and energy which could be used to build the skills of your desired career path, then maybe you are pursuing the wrong opportunities.
A good opportunity should have some relation to the destination.
This does not mean that every decision will bear an obvious outcome. Sometimes, an opportunity serves as learning for you, and sometimes, you meet the right people through it.
However, you need to know the reason behind following that road.
What will it cost you?
Every yes comes at a price.
It might cost you your time, attention, energy, money, or focus. The highest price can be paid when something prevents you from doing other things.
But before you say yes, ask yourself:
“What will I need to sacrifice in order to accommodate this?”
The answer can uncover the hidden costs of excitement about an opportunity.
Why do you want it?
Be honest with yourself.
Do you really want this chance, or are you worried about losing out on something? Are you genuinely interested in the job itself, or is the whole thing about the money, status, or prestige attached to it?
Would you still want it if no one knew about it?
Your response will give you some insight into your true feelings.
What happens if you say no?
Not every “no” results in a loss.
At times, nothing really happens. The chance slips away, and you just move on as you were doing before.
At other times, saying “no” can mean shutting a door. This is alright as well. After all, it’s not possible to keep every door open, while you stand in the way yourself.
Find out what you are going to lose when you say “no.”
Is it right for you now?
Timing is everything.
The opportunity could be great yet not fit for you right now.
There may be a situation where you feel ready to launch an idea, switch careers, acquire a skill, or undertake an important project. But considering that your present commitments already take all your effort, taking up more could do you no good at all.
One last question you need to ask yourself is the following:
“Would I want this opportunity six months from now?”
Sometimes the answer is yes.
That means there may be nothing wrong with the opportunity itself. It’s only the timing that is off.
When Saying No Is the Better Decision
Knowing that there is an opportunity is not sufficient. There may come instances when the wise thing to do is to avoid the opportunity altogether.
Say no when it pulls you away from your main direction
When you have a destination to reach, be cautious of any opportunity that may divert you from your path.
As an illustration, where you are a founder looking to set up a property management firm, you might find yourself accepting consulting projects which are unrelated simply because they pay well. From one to two to three projects; soon enough, your venture will end up getting whatever time is left from client work.
There was nothing wrong with the consulting work.
Say no when fear is making the decision
Consider whether you would still want that particular thing if you were certain that you would receive another opportunity.
Should your response vary, then fear is controlling you.
You must not accept something merely out of the fear of missing out on it.
Say no when you cannot give it proper attention
There are some opportunities that warrant more than what’s left of your time.
When you already have many responsibilities to deal with and know that you cannot execute the new one effectively, then saying yes becomes difficult for everyone else.
It is better to fulfill fewer obligations properly than to do many obligations incompletely.
Say no when you want the reward but not the work
It is very easy to desire the monetary gain, position, visibility, or contacts associated with the opportunity.
However, would you still accept the offer knowing that you will be doing the job without the thrill?
If you desire the end result and don’t care about the process involved, then perhaps you should reconsider.
Say no when the opportunity belongs to someone else’s vision
People will see the potential in you and tell you what you should do next.
Listen to them, but make up your own mind.
One person may think something is a great opportunity for you but be dead wrong about it. This person sees things through his or her eyes, not yours. You are the one who will live with this choice.
You do not have to create a life that is understandable to everybody else.
How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
Saying no does not always mean giving a lengthy justification.
There is no need to explain to everybody why you make certain decisions. In case you have reviewed the opportunity and decided that it is not suitable to you, you can simply say so.
For instance:
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t take this up now.”
And:
“I am grateful for the opportunity but I will stick to my current priorities.”
This can suffice in most cases.
You may say no without having to say no to the person who proposed the opportunity. Respecting the person, recognizing the opportunity and being honest about your decision is sufficient.
What if you fear passing up the opportunity?
The fact is that saying yes will also close some doors because the time you devote to one thing means there is no time left for another thing.
You cannot hold on to all opportunities forever. Some time or other the choice of one route means that the other must necessarily be closed.
Thus, do not worry about making a decision regarding your own time and energy.
It is better to give a respectable no than an enthusiastic yes which you cannot honour.
Sometimes Saying No Is How You Stay
As you progress, you might find that the issue is not finding opportunities at all.
The issue is choosing which ones are worth your time.
It is an entirely different issue.
You will get more invitations, more suggestions, more opportunities for a job, collaboration, and a business venture. Some will even be very attractive indeed. Some will be impossible to turn down.
But there can only be one.
Sometimes you must walk away from a great opportunity because you have already found something worthwhile to build.
This does not mean that you are lazy or complacent. This is simply what focus means.
My views on rejection have changed. It is not about rejecting anything all the time. It is sometimes about safeguarding the decision that you have already taken.
Just because a new opportunity has opened up does not mean that you should pursue it.
It is sometimes necessary to walk away from a fantastic opportunity when you have something worthwhile to develop already.