What are the factors you should consider before choosing a life partner? The answer to this question is in this article.
Life is in phases, and each of these phases always comes with the opportunity to make different choices.
At each phase of your life, you will have to make a choice that will either make or mar you.
One of those phases is the marital phase, where you get to choose someone you will spend the rest of your life with.
The phase of choosing a life partner is one that requires a lot of care because marriage is a forever thing.
And the choice you make will determine whether you will have a joyful, peaceful, fruitful, and lasting marriage or not.
Additionally, the partner you get married to is a great determinant in finding your life path.
Many youth have married wrongly because they chose wrongly. This has made them end up in a marriage they keep and endure instead of enjoying.
As a youth who is faced with the choice of a life partner, there are some factors you need to consider in order to make the right choice.
If you refuse to take these factors into consideration, you will end up marrying a partner you ought not to marry.
In this article, I have shared twelve important factors you should consider before you decide to marry that person.
These factors, if implemented, will help you choose the right person for you in life.
Below are factors you should consider when choosing a life partner. Cheers to choosing right!
1. GOD-FACTOR
God is the number-one factor to consider when choosing a life partner because he instituted marriage.
The idea of a man and a woman coming together to become husband and wife was not the man’s initial idea. It was God’s own initial idea in Genesis 2:18 -28.
In the scripture above, you would see that the idea of marriage was not Adam’s idea. It was God who decided to give Adam the help that was right for him.
When Adam was feeling lonely in the garden, God came into the picture and made the right woman for him.
Although God had created all the animals and brought them to Adam, he didn’t find the right partner for himself among them.
Until Adam slept and allowed God to make the right woman for him, he could not find his better half.
Dear you, before you decide to marry that person, you must consider God’s mind. You must acknowledge him, and you must put him first. o
Otherwise, you will choose wrongly.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.
Proverbs 3:5–6
Marriage is a forever thing. It is not something you can do alone with your common sense.
You need God to help you choose right. You need God to point out the right person for you because He knows what is best for you.
He knows who is right for you.
Therefore, you should always seek God’s mind in prayers when touching your marriage. This will save you from telling stories that touch the bones.
2. SPIRITUALITY
Life is spiritual, and everything that exists in it is governed by the spiritual world, including marriage.
This is why spirituality is another factor you must consider when choosing a life partner.
When I say spirituality, I do not mean tame religiousity. I do not mean a masked spirituality that denies the power of God.
What I mean is genuine salvation. Because it takes salvation to be spiritual. Therefore, spirituality in this contest is salvation.
Salvation is an important yardstick when it comes to choosing a life partner as a child of God.
You must be very sure that the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with is genuinely saved.
You must be assured that he or she is a true child of God.
Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship hath righteousness with unighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14
God does not support your marrying an unbeliever. He is not in support of you marrying a child of the darkness.
You are a child of the light, and you should have no connection with darkness. If you do, that will become an unequal yoke.
Additionally, Satan will be your father-in-law.
Do your findings very well and be convinced that he or she is born again. Get reports from families, friends, and close relatives about who the person is.
Rely on the Holy Spirit to sharpen your discernment and spiritual perception.
You can’t afford to marry a soul that is not saved. This is going to look like building your home on a faulty foundation, and a home built on a faulty foundation will crash.
Therefore, you must consider the spirituality of that man or woman before you tie the knot.
Else, you fall victim of spiritual strongholds.
3. CHARACTER
This factor is one you should never overlook when choosing a life partner.
The reason is that it will be needed mostly in your marriage if you want it to thrive.
When Abraham’s servant was commanded to go find a wife for Isaac, character was one of the yardsticks he used in finding the right woman for him.
The evidence can be found in Genesis 24:11–15.
Abraham’s servant’s prayer was a prayer of character. He prayed to God to give him a woman with good character.
It takes a lady who has good character to do what he prayed for.
It takes a humble, hospitable, caring, respectful, and cheerful lady to do what he requests.
If Rebecca had lacked good manners or character, she would have insulted the servant. She wouldn’t have given him and the camels water.
Character is one of the keys to a good marriage. If the partner you intend to marry does not have good character, you shouldn’t marry him or her.
If you do, you will blame yourself for regret for the rest of your life.
How would you cope with a nagging partner for the rest of your life?
How would you cope with a hot-tempered and proud woman who will never submit to you?
These questions are meant to help you check character when choosing a life partner.
Do not allow charisma, beauty, gifts, talents, money, or anything else to deceive you.
None of these make a good home. What makes a good home is character. Therefore, you must watch out for this when choosing a life partner.
4. PURPOSE
Purpose is one of the major factors in marriage. In fact, marriage was instituted for a purpose.
If you want your journey in life to be easier, you must consider the purpose of the man or woman you intend to marry.
You must check if he or she is purposeful and also find out if your purpose aligns with each other.
The reason for this is that your purpose is the reason for your existence. It is why God has created you.
It is what God wants you to do. If you want to fulfill this purpose, you need to be in a marriage that will make it possible.
I have heard of different stories about many people who died after marriage.
This was because their spouse refused to support them or allowed them to do what God wanted them to do.
When choosing a life partner, you can’t to choose one without purpose. That will jettison your destiny.
One of God’s intentions for married couples is to fulfill their purpose together in unity and support.
That is why the Bible says, “One shall chase one thousand, while two shall chase ten thousand.”
If the one has not been chasing one thousand before, there would be no ten thousand to chase.
You must therefore put purpose into consideration when choosing a life partner.
5. VISION
Vision is the divine revelation God gives a man about his glorious future. It is also the mental picture of your future.
It is a clear direction that leads a man to his destination. Vision is important when it comes to choosing a life partner.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you see the future in the same way? Does the mental picture that both of you see in your mind align with each other?
Are you both going in the same direction? You can’t be going to Lagos and decide to marry someone who is going to Kaduna.
The routes to these places are different. If you do, the marriage won’t work out well. There will be consistent disagreement.
Can two walk together unless they agree?
Amos 3:3
The agreement on direction and vision is important.
If your vision doesn’t align, there will be unending issues.
Therefore, it is important for you to consider the alignment of your visions before choosing a life partner.
6. FAMILY BACKGROUND
While this is not a major factor, it is an important one you should still consider. This is because it will help you build a blissful marriage.
Remember that you and the one you intend to marry are not from the same background.
You are two different people coming from different backgrounds who want to become one.
If you don’t understand the kind of background he or she is coming from, you might have problems in marriage.
Is he or she from a wealthy background, an average background, or a poor background?
Are they educated or not in his or her family? What is his or her family culture?
And many other related questions are the things you should consider when trying to map out the family background of your intended future spouse.
This will help you get to know and understand each other better. It will inform you of the kind of person you are about to get married to.
It will teach you how to relate to him or her. Also, it will help you to know if you can cope with the family members or not.
Marriage is a union that unites everything about you and your spouse, including the family members.
If you are not ready to be united with the family that he or she comes from, then he or she may not be the right person for you.
Hence, you should always consider family background when choosing a life partner.
7. TEMPERAMENT
This is one of the reasons many marriages keep crashing in this dispensation.
A lot of married couples do not understand their temperaments. This has caused a continuous ruckus in their home.
Temperament is simply the inborn traits you inherit from the genes of your parents.
It is that thing that makes you think, react, or do the things you do the way you do them.
Basically, we have two categories of temperaments. They are the extroverts and introverts.
Extroverts are the relational and jovial types, while introverts are the organization-reserved types.
The extrovert ategory is further divided into two, which are the sanguines and the cholerics, while the introverts are divided into melancholies and phlegmatics.
Each of these temperaments has its strengths and weaknesses.
If you know the temperament of your intended partner, it will save you a lot of stress.
In fact, it will help you to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
Apart from this, temperament helps you check your compatibility. It helps you to know if you are compatible or not.
Take, for example, melancholies, who are referred to as perfectionists. This group of people believes in perfection, and they expect everyone around them to be perfect.
If you are a sanguine who cares less about organization and perfection, you may find it hard to cope with a melancholy wife or husband.
This is why it is very important to consider the temperament of that man or woman before you marry him or her.
8. COMPATIBILITY
Compatibility is when two people or things are able to occur together without problems or conflict.
While it is true that marriage comes with a lot of challenges, the fact remains that compatibility helps to face challenges without resulting in marital conflict.
Before you get married to that person, it is important to check your compatibility.
You must be very sure that the both of you can live together in an atmosphere of peace.
Do your perspectives align? Are your purposes and visions similar? Do you have the same values and beliefs?
Can you both live together as married couples? Are you compatible? Ask yourself these questions.
Getting married to someone you are not compatible with is like putting a square peg in a round hole; they won’t fit into each other.
There will be a problem in marriage if the two of you are not compatible. Ergo, you must check this out and be very sure before you go into marriage.
9. VALUES AND BELIEFS
As humans, we have different things we value and believe in.
This is as a result of the fact that we came from different backgrounds, went to different schools, and lived in different environments as we were growing up.
Values and beliefs have a great influence on the success of marriage. If you want to choose the right partner for your life, you must therefore consider the values and beliefs of that person.
What are the things he or she values, and what are the beliefs he or she has? Ask yourself these questions. They will help you check the value and belief system of the person.
10. PERSONAL CONVICTIONS
Conviction is simply the assurance or persuasion that tells you that someone is right for you.
It is the inner peace you feel within your heart that determines whether you are going into the right marriage.
It is that one thing that makes you rest assured that you have chosen the right person for your life.
Your convictions about the person you decide to marry matter a lot. If you don’t have personal convictions that he or she is right for you, then you shouldn’t go for the marriage.
Do not depend on the convictions of your parents, mentors, and friends alone.
You must also have your own personal convictions. You must be assured that he or she is best for you.
When God stopped bringing Eve to Adam, he was convinced that Eve was the right person for him.
That was why he said, “This is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh.”
You must therefore get your personal convictions about a person before you opt in for the marriage.
11. MATURITY
Marriage has been defined as the union between a mature man and a mature woman to become husband and wife.
When choosing a life partner, you must consider the maturity of the one you want to choose.
Has he or she matured physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, financially, and psychologically?
You must ask yourself these questions and get the right answers to them.
You can’t afford to marry an immature partner so you don’t end blaming yourself.
12. LOVE
This is a great and vital factor to consider when choosing a life partner. Do you love him or her?
Does any chemistry run through your veins whenever you catch sight of him or her? You must be very sure of your love.
Love is an important block among the building blocks of marriage.
When you love him or her, it will help you to live in joy, peace, faith, hope, understanding, tolerance, etc.
It will also help you to forgive easily whenever he or she hurts you. It will make the lamp of your marriage keep burning.
Therefore, you must prove your love and be sure that you love him or her before you enter into a marriage.
I encourage you to put on today the qualities of love.
CONCLUSION ON CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER
On a final note, marriage is a lifetime journey. It is a journey you embark on until eternity as a Christian.
This is because divorce is not permitted in a Christian home. That is why you have to look before you leap so that you won’t marry the wrong person.
Therefore, I advise you to make good use of all these factors I have elucidated in this article as a yardstick when choosing a life partner.
May you never fall into the hands of the wrong partner in marriage, in Jesus’ name, amen. Many thanks to you for reading. God bless you greatly.