After so many years of research, we discovered the secrets to a successful happy long marriage.
The family is the oldest institution on earth with a vital role to play in society building.
History records that happy families have had a positive impact on society and vice versa.
That makes it an essential ingredient in the mental and emotional well-being of children.
A happy family gives a child a sense of stability and security, knowing all is good with his/her parents and siblings.
Imagine a family where, during dinner, the family comes together to tell how their day went.
The children discussing with their parents what happened at school.
This is the dream of every newly wedded couple.
But it is sad how things turn south along the way.
The increase in the number of abusive home is not encouraging. How about the divorce rate?
I wouldn’t speak much about what you must look out for when choosing a life partner.
Instead, we discuss the secrets to a long, happy marriage.
Secrets To A Long and Happy Marriage You Must Know
1. It Start with Preparation
The greatest of all secrets to a successful and a long, happy marriage is the preparation before the marriage.
Take a building, for example. It takes careful planning to complete and furnish the structure.
So, if we take so much time to plan for a house, how much more a marriage that affects all we are?
I hear people say, “I want to get married.”
But how many have stopped to consider the cost (preparation) for the marriage?
The only thing we see is an elaborate preparation for weddings and not marriage.
Wedding is a ceremonious event where people come to celebrate your new journey.
Marriage is what happens after wedding.
My friend, how many books on marriage and parenting have you read? How many sermons from trusted sources have you listened to?
How many people have you met alone for counsel on what makes a successful marriage?
Just as building a house is expensive and its long-term maintenance is more costly, so is marriage.
If you lack preparation, now is the best time to start.
2. Mutual Love and Respect
A woman by the name Alli, shared sometimes ago about the secrets of a long happy marriage.
In her words:
“We’ve been married 29 years this March. We’ve raised 4 kids, and now we’re fostering little ones together... We would add just one more secret … “Mutual Public Respect”. That means that you let everyone know your spouse is your best friend, you never enter into the spouse jokes, you always speak of your partner in the highest terms. Your spouse will appreciate it, and it’s amazing how the way you speak reinforces your feelings and convictions.”
The bible says is in Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, submit yourselves unto (respect) your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
In verse 25, it says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
The scriptures above represent two of the greatest secrets to a happy marriage.
In a marriage where there is mutual love and respect, the devil cannot creep in.
You must learn to place your partner before you. You must forgive even when you don’t feel like.
Love, in my terms, is not a feeling. It is continuous growth towards becoming one’s best self.
So, if you proclaim you love someone, then you must be ready to do all it takes to see the person grow and become their best selves.
And respect is not submission when things are good. No, it is submission at all times, irrespective of the outcome.
A big indicator of love is respect. Where is no respect, there is no love.
3. Live Within Your Means
It saddens my heart when I hear intending couples borrowing money to do wedding. Are they normal?
It is a big pointer that the marriage wouldn’t stand the test of time.
People no longer appreciate a simple and family focused life. Every one living to impress people who don’t care.
It is not a crime if you don’t buy that latest 8K TV. No, it’s not a crime if you don’t live in an estate.
Digital marketing agencies manage these adverts to sell to you what you don’t need.
There will always be the latest of any products you can ever think of.
So, why kill yourself before your time?
I weep when I see couples pressurizing themselves to meet some stupid society’s demands.
Don’t fall into it because when all things go red, you alone will bear the cost.
Wants to attend a friend party but the cost of cloth chosen is too expensive. Sit in your house and send what you can afford as a monetary gift to the celebrant.
If families will cut down their expenses, parents will spend more time with their kids.
Because the reason people do overtime or do two jobs is to meet up with bills.
It’s not the best. This is not God’s plan for you and your family.
If it means moving to a house with lower cost, please do. And start saving to build yours.
Last, the wife should also get something doing to support the family. It doesn’t have to be a corporate job – maybe a business (most preferably by me).
This way, she takes care of the little expenses in the house.
You can look into some of the best business ideas for housewives.
That is wisdom. You must learn to live within your means.
4. Train Up Your Child.
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
This is the fourth of the five secrets of a long, happy marriage.
Children are blessing from the Lord. They are like arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior.
While I believe in each couple understanding their role in the house and becoming diligent in it.
I don’t support that child training is the sole work of the wife because this is where most husbands get it wrong.
In fact, a school of thoughts has it that when a child is good, it belongs to the father and when the child is bad; it belongs to the mother.
That’s devilish and must not be condoned.
It’s called parenting (Father and Mother) not wifering (mother alone).
You both must join hands together to bring up your child in the way of the Lord.
You must be available to listen to your teenagers. Many thoughts run through their mind that need your guidance.
Also, each couple must stay away from family politics and not allow such from the children.
A situation where your partner discipline the child, never you counter force the action even if it’s wrong.
You must, at that moment, join your partner to correct your child.
Then, when you both are alone, you can then address the matter.
This way, the child will heed faster to corrections and in the long run appreciate the mutual love and respect between the parents.
5. Protect Your Family
This is the last but not the least of the secrets to a long, happy marriage.
In this section, I would like to speak more to the men.
While it is the combine efforts of the couple to protect the family, it is the primary duty of the husband.
As the head of the house, you ought to be ahead.
You are not only a provider but also a protector and a priest.
You are the lion king and must ensure your tribe (family) does not go into extinction.
And beyond physical protection, there is a mental.
You must ensure you guide what devices your children use and what programs they watch.
No, I am not asking you to be overprotective. Your children also need a bit of breathing space.
But at their tender age, your decision becomes their decision. You want the best for them and you should act it.
While protecting your family. Focus on these three areas:
- Association: Who are their friends?
- Education: What happens in their school?
- Recreation: What is their choice of fun?
You both as parent must join hands together to protect each other and the children.
Conclusion on Secrets To A Long and Happy Marriage
So, is it possible for two individuals to live happily together forever?
Yes, it is possible. The husband and the wife can enjoy a happy marriage if they both put these secrets to work.
We have established that the family is the oldest institution. And we must protect it.
We must fight the spread of teenage drug abuse. We must stop trafficking and sexual immorality.
To achieve this, it starts with you and I. Let’s invest in the choice of a life partner and marriage.
Above all, commit yourself, partner, and family into the hands of God and He will make you all victorious.
